Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor
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10/31/05
Day Twelve
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 10:31 am

Monday, 7:30am…

by Sandy
Two weeks ago I did not even know what the word blog meant, now I am blogging! I am not taking over my husband’s job and my brain would not allow it even if it was running at full capacity (not sure it ever was). Dan has done a beautiful job of descriptive writing of this experience. Since I had a web journal the first time around with cancer, I feel like I’ve been there, done that… and there’s some wonderful symmetry to having Dan share his words because it shows how this journey is not mine alone, but loved ones are right there with you.
Happy Halloween! Especially to all the Orondo School students. Be kind to your teachers today and don’t eat all your candy at once.
I can’t tell you how much it has meant to Dan and I to hear from everyone - family, friends, coworkers and neighbors on Wilson Street with their great descriptions which help me visualize home and walking our dogs. And thanks for the candle lightings. And thanks to Dan’s Forest Service family, who is now my family as well. And thanks to our housesitter Amy. And I would be remiss if I didn’t say thank you to all my doctors, nurses, med students and staff for all their great care so far. Hug a medical professional today - they deserve it
Thank you to all the Orondo staff for all your kind notes, emails and cards (Pam, thanks for the angel medallion). Carol, your book Hope Happens couldn’t have arrived at a better time. I’ve been poked like a pin cushion, received some bad news in front of a whole roomful of medical people and couldn’t sleep. Some of the words from that book and kind words from a male nurse helped (students, a male hispanic nurse - he was great). Quote from the book: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are but small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whether you’ve contacted us or not, we know you’re out there and the prayers are helping. Getting through surgery was my first goal. Now I am working toward getting all the information and treatment I can. Wednesday I meet with my surgeon, and will have the staples removed (I’m regretting I didn’t bring my best staple remover from school). Yesterday I spent way too much time worrying about my hair (pay attention middle school girls). Finally ended up with a purple bandana on my head because I didn’t want people to think I had dressed up early for Halloween. I look great coming at you, but when I turn around is the problem. But hair grows back, and if people judge you by your looks, you don’t need them as a friend.
The schedule for the rest of the week after Wednesday is dependent on whether my oncologist has jury duty… life goes on I guess. So we’ll meet with him on Wednesday or Friday depending. So the earliest we’ll be home is Friday the 4th or on the weekend. When we meet with the oncologist, the plan is to go over the chemo treatments. When I get home, I’ll meet with local doctors to keep them in the loop on my treatments.
My brain continues to compliment itself, but is having some difficulty typing (Dan is typing as I dictate) and reading. I can read words and comprehend the meaning, but after a couple of minutes it feels like my brain is lifting weights. But I should cut myself some slack, its only been a week since brain surgery. And I’m currently on about six different medicines and walking pretty slow. So my next goal is to rest, gain energy and get stronger. I’m especially proud that my LiveStrong wristband made it through surgery.
Thanks again for all the love that you’ve sent to Dan and I. It’s times like this that you realize how connected we are, and how important that connection is to truly living. As my friend Thelma says… Here’s a HUG.
Love, Sandy (Ms. Beardsley)

8:30 pm…

Sandy and I decided it was high time we got out of Dodge (aka Palo Alto), so today we jumped in our red Dodge Neon rental car (getting out of Dodge in a Dodge, hmmm) and drove an unbelievably narrow, twisting, climbing, curvy, long backroad (I’d like to come back and bike it someday) over to the coast to see if we could find a little ocean therapy. We found it. After lunch outside at a pub with a view of Half Moon Bay, in perfect 75-degrees and blue skies, we drove north a short distance and found a beautiful place… a marine sanctuary park with beaches, tidepools in a huge rocky area, seals and an amazing number of sea birds. We walked a little ways and sat with our backs against a warm rock, gazing out at the ocean, soothed by the sound of the waves. It was so nice.
After awhile the bright sun and water reflection started to hurt Sandy’s eyes - she has had some vision problems and sensitivity since the surgery, so we headed back to Palo Alto (and found the quick highway / freeway to get to this part of the coast). When we got into town, Sandy wanted to look for a head scarf to hide her surgery incision and shaved head on those days when she wasn’t feeling like wearing her badge of honor for all to see. After discouraging trips through several stores at a mall, finding only high-priced and ugly scarves, Sandy started thinking outside the box.
"Pottery Barn" she said.
"Huh? I thought they just had furniture and dishes." I replied.
And large cloth napkins in cool earthy colors. They were perfect, just what she was looking for. Though the clerk was a bit perplexed at this woman putting napkins on her head. She got five "scarves" for the price of one at the other stores. Just don’t tell anyone where she got them.
After all that activity, Sandy’s pain meds were wearing off and she wasn’t feeling too good by the time we got back to the hotel. But a package of letters and drawings of colorful rainbows from her school’s 2nd-graders was waiting for her at the hotel desk, and those cheered her up tremendously. Thanks 2nd-graders!
Good night,
Dan

15 Responses to “Day Twelve”

  1. Don Virgovic Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 11:13 am Hi Sandy and Dan - wow, trick or treat! It really is sandy talking today on the blog. This is great and great to hear from you! “You sound great!” Deb and I have missed a few days on the blog since we went up to work on the barn this weekend. Yep, no computer line to the barn yet. You will be happy to know the barn looks great. Deb and I commented on how it was just about 2 months ago when you and dan were hammering away on those gorgeous summer days. I think we actually found a few of the nails you personally hammered in - they were the straight ones! Can’t wait till you see the finished product. We think of you daily and are excited to hear you may be home this weekend. That would be great. Speaking of great - you both are! Have a great day. Love D2
  2. Anne and Andre Nowacki Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 12:27 pm So good to see your words, Sandy. If you are feeling a little slowed down, I would not be surprised if a huge percent of it is the effect of the medicines, and that being partly purposeful. (?) Go easy, gently, keep reminding yourself of how long some other body parts take to heal. The results so far seem fabulous. On another subject: There are rumors of some anti-matter, anti-neutrino- energized elves visiting your house. You will soon be back and can check out all outrageous claims. Waves of good wishes from all of us here in Leavenworth. Anne N.
  3. Anne and Andre Nowacki Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 12:31 pm P.S. Beautiful photos, Dan.
  4. Rich Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 3:14 pm Hello Sandy and Dan, See I told you the blog thing was worth looking into! It has been wonderful to find out how you are doing and connect with your incredible positive approach. You two are inspirational. Love, Rich Feldman
  5. Kim Hoofnagle Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 6:14 pm Sandy It was so good to read your words. I could almost hear your voice and your laugh. You always know how to make people smile. Happy Halloween! What a way to get out of doing our 3rd grade Halloween party. :) We are all missing you! I am sending you a giant hug, but I cant wait to do it in person. Lots of Love, Kim and the 3rd graders
  6. Babs Says:
    October 31st, 2005 at 7:04 pm howdy, howdy! I haven’t written in a couple days, but you are never far from my thoughts - nor J’s either for that matter. He tries to act tough, but he was pretty emotional when he read Dan’s blog the day the doctors confirmed your worst fears. On another subject, I feel it my duty to clear something up. I happened to have worked side by side, and sometimes directly below Sandy when she was pounding in those nails, and I KNOW not every one went in straight judging from the number of expletives she used! Lots o’ hugs from the both of us. We’re anxious to see you again.
  7. The Daniel Clan Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 11:58 am Dan and Sandy, Emma says: Happy Halloween! I’m going to be a rock star for Halloween. My costume is very shiny. Our class is doing the haunted maze. We’re sending the money we make to the earthquake victims. I’m glad you’re out of the hospital. Everybody from school misses you. I miss you too. I hope you come back soon. Sophie says: Glad you’re out of the hospital. I am going to be a cheerleader for Halloween. It took a lot of time to find the right pumpkins at the pumpkin patch today. I really miss you so much. Elizabeth says: Happy Halloween! Sorry you’re going to miss all the parties at school. Also a special note to you and Dan. Emma and I have been reading and talking about the beautiful thoughts and observations Dan shares in the updates and talk about the love you two obviously share and the way you support each other. We both decided Dan married a wonderful woman and Sandy married a wonderful man. Also, Dan, your lessons about seeing the glorious things in life, while facing the not so glorious, was good for my Emma and me too. I know we are sending out all these prayers and good thoughts to you, but your messages are giving something back to the rest of us. Thank you. Take care. P.S. I do believe in angels and you two must have some AWESOME guardian angels. Also, I’m going to have to come up with a Lily story, but you know, she just hasn’t done anything cute lately. That is unless you can count this as cute: Waking me up at 5:30 am, in her fairy costume, complete with magic wand, saying, “I’m ready to go trick-or-treating.” “Lily, it’s not time yet.” “But it’s dark outside, so it’s time to go.” :)
  8. pat & heather Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 1:56 pm Good November to you Sandy & Dan’O, It is snow-raining here today (1.8″ in rain gage over the past two days). In all the passes it’s “snow and slush on the roadways”. YAY, winter is coming. We miss you guys. With loving and blessings, Pat & Heather
  9. Anonymous Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 2:03 pm Dear Mrs. beardsley, how are you? we have missed you very much we miss you. There is already snow up in Waterville and levenworth!!!! There is more snow predicted up at misson ridge. We went down to the river Everybody misses you Mitch says that he misses you and he tells everybody that he knows you and he thinks that you will get better soon. Hope that me will talk to you soon , Great website I check it everyday!!! Much Love and hpoe, The Meyers writen by Sam and Mitch P.S you are in our thoughts and prayers!
  10. Rose Marie Martinez Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 5:10 pm Sandy and Danno, Its so good to hear you are up and around. The prayers and energy must be working. We will continue to send lots of love and prayers your way for a painless recovery. Sandy, you are an inspiration for every single one of us, with your strength, courage, and positive attitude. You are my hero! (heroine) Love and prayers to you and Danno! Rose Marie Martinez and family.
  11. Lance Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 5:22 pm Sandy, I’d cut my hair for you…but alas there isn’t much. I’m so thankful for the information you share with us. It’s squelches the helplessness feel of being so far away. I so appreciate how you’ve tackled all of this…with great courage, your an inspiration. We miss you tons, and are looking forward to your return. ~Lance
  12. Sonny Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 6:29 pm Hey Sandy and Dan, Great to see your doing good Sandy. My mom is doing quite well. Her eyes are still a little black and blue and she’s still a little weak from the surgery still but the swelling has gone down to almost nothing. She’s at my house recovering and I’m doing my best to take good care of her. Mary got the staples taken out today, it went pretty easy except for the 2 or 3 that went in deep. Just wanted to touch base with you see how you two were doing. From the looks of your blog times can be hard but hey, you’ve had brain surgery what’s their excuse! ;) Thank you so much for helping me and my mother through this rough time. It really ment a lot to both of us and kept us strong. I hope you got a good room mate after she left ;P I’ll check back here to see how your doing. Talk to ya soon! -Sonny
  13. Noah Daniel Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 7:40 pm Mrs. B, How are you? I hope you are feeling better. All the kids in school really miss you. We haven’t had so much fun without you around anymore. Some kids say that you were a really good P. E. teacher and they want you to come back. How is Stanford? I looked at the pictures that your husband took. They were really good. For Halloween I don’t know what I was, but I was going to stay home, and at the last minute, I had a craving for CANDY!!!!!! So I put on a costume at the last minute and left. I hope you feel better and come back soon! -Noah Daniel P. S. I hope you got some candy too!
  14. Sue S Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 9:15 pm Dear Sandy & Dan, You may think that we have forgotton you but that is definitely not the case. You have been in our thoughts everyday and we have sent you some orange juice “toasts” to wish you well! Although I have not been able to read up on all of your daily reports (no internet at home so depend on library and friends) I have read several and have heard some updates from others. Sandy, we are so happy that you have gotten through so much and have been able to stay on top of things. You and Dan are an inspiration to everyone. Your devotion to each other has no doubt kept you going no matter what. Keep thinking positive thoughts (as we all have been for you) and know that you are not alone, no matter what. We would be honored to do anything here for you that we can - so please just let us know. When you get home, we can help whenever you need it. Please don’t hesitate to ask. You’ll be happy to know that Mt. Cashmere and surrounding mts. have a beautiful covering of snow. We even had some on our deck when I left this morning for town. Just hope I can get up the road when I head home. It has been wonderful to have rain falling and the ground soaking it up. Hopefully when you come home the mt. tops will be sparkling white and the sun will be shining down upon you in greeting and welcoming you back. Take good care of each other now. We miss you!!!! As a friend recently said “Live with Gusto!” Love you both, Sue
  15. Mary Lou Johnson Says:
    November 1st, 2005 at 11:27 pm Hi Sandy and Dan…So great to know that you’re on your way home…and home may even welcome you with snow! How your doing what your doing continues to amaze and astound mere mortals. Last night I was talking to my sister, who and teaches in Chelan, sharing with her what you were dealing with and when I mentioned you by name, she exclaimed, “Oh, we prayed for her in church on Sunday!” So count Chelan in as the expanded area of good throughts and prayers for you…the circle just keeps expanding. Love you…Mary Lou