Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor
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03/12/06
Round Five… and Eggs and Potatoes
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 8:33 pm

Sandy finished her 5th round of chemo (Temodar) on Thursday. She’s still feeling the effects as there is a lag time after the drug is finished. But overall she has done better with this round than last month’s. She was more careful with what she ate in the days before she started chemo, and more diligent about taking all the anti-nausea and intestinal tract drugs on a regular schedule. Even with that she will miss a week’s worth of work. It’s starting to set in for her that feeling bad for at least 10 days out of every month will be the routine for the foreseeable future.

But today we were able to celebrate the beginning of the rebound off the chemo days… we went out to breakfast and she had the first real food she has had in days– eggs and potatoes.  And this afternoon she felt up to a short walk in the warm (45°F) sunshine - even though there’s still snow on the ground it felt like a touch of spring was in the air.  Awhile later after the walk, Sandy decided it was time to get her bike out and go for a little ride up and down our road a couple of times — about a mile total — officially launching the “Friends of Sandy” team training season (see LiveStrong Ride link at left).

All I can say is… elation… to see her eating again, and walking a trail near our home, and riding a bike… all in the same day.  It’s the kind of things that I have never really taken for granted, but which now seem like major, and beautiful, events… because they are.  Of course this evening she is paying for all the activity –  completely exhausted and wiped out. 

But she got back to living today… the chemo doesn’t keep her down for too long. Read below for her thoughts on this chemo journey.

Good night,
Dan

PS - Forgot to mention that a few nights ago we watched a tape of this year’s Oscar awards for movies (a friend taped it for us since we canceled our satellite TV last summer and our TV is just for watching movies now). So when the award for best music score went to Gustavo Santaolalla (for Brokeback Mountain) Sandy and I said “Hey! We know that guy!”  He was the guitarist from Argentina performing in the Ayre Concert that we saw the day before Sandy’s surgery at Stanford (link to the left and also Day Four blog entry).  So now we can say we know an Oscar winner. His guitar playing is incredible… right up there with our friend Don V.

Sandy wrote this a few days ago…

Sacred Journey
To feel weakened once a month and have your body feel like a 90-year old woman when you’re 44 is a sacred journey.

To be so sore you ache when you walk or move, you begin to understand the wisdom of age. The stories, the memories, the history, the slowing down.

You try to see the beauty in the body breaking down whether from sickness or age. Like a salmon that swims home to spawn. The circle of life begins to be clear.

The body begins the turn from youth and strength to age and frailty. It is a sacred journey.

After the chemo you get the blessing of days without this awareness. Your strength returns and you are young again. How many get the chance to return to their youth each month? This too is sacred.

The wise elders know the beauty of this journey. Through their pain they remember their youth and accept their aging as part of the cycle.

They become the salmon on their sacred journey home.

– Sandy Beardsley
3/9/06

8 Responses to “Round Five… and Eggs and Potatoes”

  1. Susie Says:
    March 12th, 2006 at 11:55 pm Sandy and Dan, Thank you so much for your beautiful words. You inspire all of us. We are happy to hear that you are able to get outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. As always you and your family are in our prayers for good health and healing.
  2. Mother and Dad Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 5:03 pm Sandy and Dan, What an inspiration you are, Sandy. Your words brought tears to our eyes and the thoughts behind them are very beautiful. We think of you and the joy you bring to us and to all around you. We are so glad you got out to enjoy the sunhine. Our love to you both, Mother and Dad
  3. Leda Says:
    March 14th, 2006 at 7:34 am You’re so far away and yet…so close. Think about you everyday. Leda
  4. Shirl Says:
    March 17th, 2006 at 11:40 am Well, you big fish you! It sounds as though you’ve smartened up about this chemo thing. As you said, it is 10 days of feeling crappy, followed by 18 days of rejuvenation. You get used to it, believe me. It really sounds stupid, doesn’t it, for someone to say that you get used to feeling sick, but you do. I just buy myself another crossword book, preferably Garfield ones that have a cartoon on each page, let everyone know that I’m out of commission for awhile, stock up on easy to make food that Don can cook, and settle into my recliner in front of the fireplace, or in my bed under the electric blanket. Also, this is my greatest need during chemo…………..chocolate bars!! Sick or not, don’t get between me and my O’Henry! Still waiting for your train to pull into the nearest Station. Love, Shirl
  5. Susie Says:
    March 21st, 2006 at 11:30 am Hi guys. I was thinking about you both, so I thought while my class is out to recess I would say a quick hello. I love kindergarteners..They crack me up. I bet you can relate. We have a class website if you want to check us out. I’m pretty sure it will make you smile. Especially the pictures of our fall festival and carving our big class pumpkin. www.cv.riverview.wednet.edu Go to staff and click on my name. Mrs. Archuleta. well. Speaking of my cuties, it’s time to let them in. We will be thinking of you as we read Is your Mama a Llama? Love and prayers, Susie
  6. Megan OConnor Says:
    March 24th, 2006 at 8:40 pm Hi you two. Thanks for keeping us in tune with what is happening with you. I love reading your words, as they are so expressive and really paint a picture. Glad the sun is shining. Keep smiling and know that you are both loved.
  7. Nelson Zhan Says:
    April 4th, 2006 at 10:41 am hey sandy, I live in Philadelphia Pennsilvania and i go to Central highschool. Im doing a group project aboout Radiation and one part of this project is to interview someone about it. I was coming across your website and i read all 18 chapters. I am very interested in your story and i thought it would be a great idea to interview you. Sandy please contact me at Juju051400@yahoo.com
  8. Chrissy Says:
    April 17th, 2006 at 8:03 am I just wanted you to know I am checking up on you daily and thinking of you even more. I had the exact same tumor removed, rated II even. (not all of it) in September at the Swedish Hospital in Seattle. So far they have put off the radiation and chemo till it starts growing back. I am a mother of 2, in fact my son graduates in a few weeks from Washington State!! Go Cougs. Hope you have good weather for our visit in that direction. My daughter is at UNLV, kinda funny she calls me daily. (whos checking on who these days) And Thank God I have a great husband too!! Dont know how I could have gotten through this without him (give yours a kiss for me!) I really hope you are feeling better and all is going well. Dont feel you have to respond to me. I just wanted you to know complete strangers are thinking postive thoughts for you Love Chrissy

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