Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor
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05/06/06
Hope, Faith, Courage, Love… and Security
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 9:40 pm

What an amazing day in the life…

Sandy and I got up at 5am today and headed up the road to San Francisco around 6 to get to the “Angel Adventure” fund-raising walk for the National Brain Tumor Foundation. We were also going to reunite with Sandy’s “Brain Tumor Buddy” (her hospital roommate from October). The freeway and city streets that time of morning were delightfully deserted - a strange experience around here as the traffic is heavy all the time. So we made good time and got to the event site in Golden Gate Park about an hour early. The weather was cloudy and very cold and windy at the park - it’s close to the ocean and we found out later it’s like this a lot - quite a contrast to the sun and warmth of Palo Alto just 30 miles down the road. As we sat in the car, a fancy Mercedes pulled up across the road and a large, 6′6″ tall, ex-football player looking black guy got out, wearing a jacket, shirt and hat emblazoned with “Security”. I guess they need guys like him for big events in the big city. We joked - we sure wouldn’t mess with that guy.

Sandy was feeling intensely emotional about being here and also about seeing her friend Mary again. To quote her through the tears… “I’m a wreck… I’m not sure I can do this…”  I tried my best to comfort her, but the tears kept coming. We signed up at the registration desk, picked up our t-shirts with a “Hope, Faith, Courage, Love” design, and sat down to wait for Mary. Sandy huddled in a blanket as it was quite cold, as I held her and watched the large crew of volunteers set up the tents, and the crowd of participants filtered in to the large grass field. I went over to the food tent and got us some coffee to help warm us up. Sandy was still cold and not feeling very strong, still crying. Seeing all the people showing up with t-shirts and posters printed with photos of loved ones who had died of brain tumors only deepened her sorrow… and made my heartache profoundly more real.

I left her after awhile to go look for Mary in the crowd. I was walking across the large meadow, my small backpack loaded with clothing, camera and our gnome friend… and saw the security guy we had seen earlier coming toward me, making a deliberate angle to intersect where I was heading. I didn’t think anything of it until he got right up next me and blocked my way with his imposing frame. He looked down at me from very close and said in a gentle but firm voice, “Excuse me sir, but I was hoping you could do me a favor…”
“Sure, what can I do?” I asked.
“Well, I’d like to ask you to leave this area… you see, these folks have paid a lot of money to be here and have been through a lot… and I understand you’ve been hanging around and eating the food. You’ll have to leave now…”
I was stunned, of course, and almost speechless. But I smiled, almost laughing and said, “I’m part of this event… my wife is having brain tumor surgery in a week… she’s right over there…” I pointed across the field.
“Oh God! I’m so sorry!” he said, clasping my shoulders. “I was told there was a guy with a backpack who didn’t belong here, hanging out and eating a lot of food…”
“Hey, no worries,” I said. “That’s OK…”
“I’m so sorry…” he repeated again and again. “Take care of yourself now…” he said as he walked away.
I laughed all the way back to where Sandy was sitting. She was still in tears, as I told her what had just happened. She burst into laughter, not even believing me. “It’s true!” I said. “You think I could make that up?!”  She laughed and laughed through her tears at the idea that her husband looked like a homeless guy. I was quite happy myself to see her laughing after a very rough morning. This moment was the turning point of the day for Sandy.

After awhile we connected with Mary and her son and his girlfriend. It was an intense and tearful reunion, but seeing her really cheered Sandy up. We sat together and listened to the speakers start the program. I can’t begin to recount the beautiful stories of several brain tumor survivors, or the stories of loved ones telling of their loss of someone close to them.

Then they opened it up for anyone to come up to the microphone and tell their story. Sandy got right up and made her way to the back of the stage area. I watched her talk to one of the hosts, a local TV sports guy, who told some great stories and was introducing people. He then got to the microphone and introduced Sandy to the crowd. Needless to say, my heart was swelling with pride and love for her. There she was, standing in front of at least 2,000 people, telling her story… she was so clear, calm and assured that the crowd was totally quiet with attention. Friends who were at our party last week and listened to Sandy talk to the group about the bad MRI and our impending trip to Stanford — she was exactly the same, but in front of a huge crowd. It was beautiful and inspiring. She first said that she was a 7-year brain tumor survivor and the crowd applauded wildly. Toward the end of her story, she told of her surgery last October, the GBM grade 4 diagnosis and her upcoming 2nd surgery. The crowd somehow got even quieter, listening intently as she talked of still having hope. She mentioned her website and said to everyone, “Just look for the gnome and that’s us!” Yes, the gnome was with us all day… SEE PHOTOS OF THE DAY HERE

SEE PHOTOS OF THE DAY HERE
After a few other people spoke, they started the walk. It was a 5k walk through the park, an immense and beautiful place. Sandy had a photo of our son Cameron and a photo of her support group in her pocket over her heart. She nad Mary were arm-in-arm the entire walk. More than 1,200 people had registered, and counting all the friends and family there must have been well over 2,000 people walking. It was quite a sight… all these people (and one gnome) winding through the big trees. We met some great people along the way - including Tracy from England and her friends. She lost her brother to cancer, and offered us a lot of support.

At the program at the end of the walk they announced that over $500,000 had been raised today! Amazing. All the money goes toward funding brain tumor research, outreach to patients and other programs. The NBTF is a great organization. This was the 12th annual Angel Adventure walk. Our cycling friends Mike and John are also raising money for this group (see link at left). During the walk and afterward, many people came up and thanked Sandy for her speech and wished her well and shared a lot of compassion. People even approached me as I carried the Gnome around, extending their sympathy and understanding to Sandy and I. A few people even wanted to rub the Gnome for good luck.

After the program, we said goodbye to Mary and her son and girlfriend - we’ll see them this next week sometime - and headed back to the car. Sandy said I had to go find that security guy and thank him for helping to turn her mood around. I headed back to the big meadow and  searched through the crowd for him. After awhile I found him. As I walked up to him, he recognized me and laughed, mockingly holding his head in shame. I shook his hand and told him how his attempt to kick me out of the event had made Sandy laugh after a morning of tears. And that got him laughing. I gave him Sandy’s card and he wished us luck.

A day of intense and beautiful humanity… Hope, Faith, Courage, Love… there’s definitely security in that.

Good night,
Dan

12 Responses to “Hope, Faith, Courage, Love… and Security”

  1. Millie Watkins Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 4:58 am It’s remarkable how just when you need it, help and hope arrive. What a wonder that the walk and the gathering of friends and support was scheduled for “just the right weekend.” Dan you said it all very well with the closing line of “Hope, Faith, Courage, Love” and security in that. We are praying for you both. Your courage is an inspiration.
  2. Carol Truitt Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 8:26 am Sandy & Dan, Okay. Had to start over. I wish I’d had a chance to see you before you left, but was out of town that weekend. Needless to say, you both are constantly on my mind and in my heart. Stay strong, take some time for yourselves together when you can, know that we all are with you, loving you both, sending every powerful good thing your way to help you both geth through this and have a long, wonderful, heatlhy life together with all of us tagging along behind you with silly grins on our faces! I love you, Sandy, will see you soon!! Dan, hang in there, thanks for the updates! Both of you, come home soon - we need you! Love, Carol
  3. Caryn O\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 9:34 am You two continue to amaze! By the way, what’s the gnome’s gname?????(I had to ask before someone else did.) Love to you both, Mom in Waldport, Oregon
  4. Rich Feldman Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 10:22 am Dan and Sandy, I’m sending my love your way. I so admire your ability to make this an adventure amidst the tears and fears. Gnome on! Rich
  5. Tracy Ismert Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 11:20 am Hi Sandy and Dan, I have been thinking of you guys so much since yesterday. I am the English woman that spoke to you. I love your site and your blog. You two are a truely amazing couple and your spirit just shines through all the pain, and sadness that is cancer. Find below the adds. for brain tumor support group that we told you about. I know that when my brother got sick we all felt so alone and it gave me a lot of comfort. ( My brother lived in Australia and my family live in England ). I will be saying my little universe prayers for you tonight and especially tomorrow. Dan if you send me a jpg I will put it on our little alter - my address is “tracyismert@hotmail.com”. We are very close to Stanford, we live in Burlingame. If you need any help while you are here our numbers are: 650 579 4887 hm 650 430 1353 cell My brother got so much help from friends and strangers that we will always be grateful, so if I can ever help anyone I always do. Live strong - much love and prayer Tracy Ismert. btcaregivers@braintrust.org braintmr@mit.edu
  6. Robin O'Hearn Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 1:27 pm Hi Sandy & Dan, Yup, you’re unbelievable! I vote to gname the gnome “Gnarly”. Any other suggestions out there? —Robin O.
  7. pk Says:
    May 7th, 2006 at 8:35 pm Bigger WOW … HOPE, FAITH, COURAGE, LOVE … repeat after Sandy and Dan. Shout out! You are like magicians, drawing something surprising and new out of each and every day, each and every moment, turning those speed bumps into speed surges. Sandy, you are my super duper hero to the highest power - getting up to speak like you did - Angel Adventuress supreme. I love the story of the security man and DanO the homeless guy. When you guys laugh its like a prayer. Thinking of you, cheering for you, feeling so blessed by your sharings. With love and friendship, Patty
  8. Fred Carani Says:
    May 8th, 2006 at 4:40 am Sandy, You better keep Dan on a short leash before he gets into any more trouble. He’s lucky the security guy was such a push over falling for the old “I’m with her line”. Stay strong. Fred
  9. Susie Says:
    May 8th, 2006 at 8:50 am I am so proud of you both. I wish I could have been there. Our prayers are with you. Love, Susie
  10. HAM Says:
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:24 am Just look at that Sandy Beardsley SMILE! Does that do the heart good, or what? I just wanted to say hello and stay in touch through blogging. Blessings with Love, Heather
  11. Leda Says:
    May 8th, 2006 at 12:35 pm I was in a very special place last Sat night; other 10,000 people were there with me and it was a perfect night, the stars and moon shining, people smiling at eachother, the music and water fountains in the background and I kept thinking about you both as if I had known you ever since I was born. I said a little prayer for us all (I did my best) and hoped that being where I was would make it a little more special for us all: I was in St. Peter’s Square in Rome. love Leda
  12. Barb & Cot Says:
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:58 pm Lots of Love and Luck to two special people. When life seems tough sometimes, we think of you, and your journey to just plain live………it takes problems away with the wind. I’m sure everyone will be glad when your surgery is over, and you both can start heading home. It sure sounds like those doctors know their business. We will be thinking of you all day Monday, and hope Dan will let SOMEONE know when it’s over and all is well. Love, B & C

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