Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor

September 2020
« Oct    
Salt Water
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 1:26 pm

The cure for anything is salt water… sweat, tears, or
the sea.
–Isak Dineson

         Sandy emerges from a dip in the cold Pacific Ocean

We had an intense and beautiful trip to the Oregon coast. And this is so difficult to write… tears and waves of emotion have been pouring out of me for days now. Sandy’s health has declined dramatically in the past week. Every day brings another big step down this journey. She is not in pain, thankfully, but she is increasingly confused and having some cognitive changes. Her vision loss has increased and she has more difficulty walking and controlling her left side. But of course her fighting spirit keeps her going. She is running on about 2 hours of sleep a day. She doesn’t want to sleep through these last days. She has more energy than I do. She is still enjoying getting out to our Garden of Friendship, usually in the very early pre-dawn hours and watching the sunrise together. She spends a lot of time in her special places in our home - her favorite chair usually - looking at photos, her special jewelry, and books… and always playing music that she loves.  She is still strong-willed and wants everyone to know that they better visit her with their “Lance face” on - she doesn’t want any tears and puppy dog eyes around her. She is living these days, however few may remain, with her typical spirit and love of life. Today she is having a spa day treatment here at home from a couple of women friends. And loving every second of it. We also are saying farewell to our son Cameron who is going back to his home Hawaii with Sandy’s insistence. She wants him to get back to his own life after being here about a month. They have had a wonderful time together and a lot of great talks.

Thank you all again for the outpouring of love and support. It is helping to make this painful journey one with beautiful moments as well.

With a breaking heart,

27 Responses to “Salt Water”

  1. HAWM Says:
    Beautiful salt water quote Dan and Sandy. Our deep love and constant prayers are walking with you right now. So hard, so hard. Remember to take long deep breaths; breath in and breath out; filling the body with summer’s sweet air; brings a sense of peace. Thank you for sharing last night at your garden, Sandy didn’t forget “barky bark bark”. May God Bless, with immense love and fondness, your friends, H&P
  2. jkw Says:
    Hi Dan and Sandy, Just a few days ago talking with my Mom about your trip to the coast she said to me, “I hope Sandy goes into the ocean even just with her toes. I believe there is something magical about the ocean.” And now here is this wonderful picture of Sandy just coming out of the ocean. I pray for wonderful days full of memories to cherish and even better nights with just the two of you. Sending positive thoughts, prayers, and love your way!! ;)
  3. Merry Roy Says:
    Dear Sandy and Dan, Your picture of emerging from the ocean with your ski poles was wonderful! And that was a very healing quotation about salt water. You are in our prayers constantly. Love, Merry
  4. Millie Says:
    There is no day or time that you are not on our minds, in our hearts and in our prayers. Thinking of you today.
  5. Susie Archuleta Says:
    Dear Sandy and Dan, I can see that forever spirit resonate from Sandy’s smile in the photo at the ocean. Not surprising are the silhouettes of joyful dancing children in the background. How does she do that?….. As always, our hearts feel heavy with pain when we hear the news of how our time with you is once again extremely limited…..although not unexpected. The sorrow we feel seems unbearable. I will keep my Lance face on Sandy. You have taught us, shown us, demonstrated to us, and asked us to do so. So we will!!….. My dear cousin, I will miss you…but not for long. Soon we will all be together again…laughing, singing, dancing and still loving one another as before. We love you Sandy and we love you Dan. Please feel our arms around you at this most difficult time in your journey together. We pray for strength and we pray for more time. We hope to see you in Portland. Until we meet again. Love you. Susie
  6. mary pat b Says:
    Hello sandy, dan and cam , as always our family is keeping you three in our many prayers and thoughts each day as you all continue on this journey. What a fantastic family you are. Sharing the highs and lows of this time in your lives. I also have been enjoying all my favorite music, Those tunes and voices that can express so many feelings and emotions - that are just seem so hard to say/ not wanting to intrude but wanting to help your family any way that we can ?? Celtic Woman, ABBA, Enya,david roth, the Orcas Island strings, yo-yo- ma,Chicken soup for the soul, Vivaldi, Beetovens’ 9 th , virtuosos of voice, Botocelli,Tears from the moon,Rebecca St. james, and many more - See you later. Love mary pat
  7. D2 Says:
    Hello Sandy and Dan - this latest picture of you at the ocean says it all. Your spirit of life is embodied in the “composition.” Our great love for the ocean is commensurate with our love for you. May it reach you in a magnitude as powerful as the ocean itself. We continue to Livestrong with you each day. See you and Dan soon - we can’t wait! Love always, D2
  8. Barb Kelly Says:
    Hi Sandy and Dan, I am hoping for the best for you in these days. I love your images of Sandy, revitalizing at the beach, spending time with loved ones, reflecting on life. I am looking forward to the LiveStrong event this Sunday and hope that you can make it. What an awesome outpouring of support for Sandy. Her Friends of Sandy team has raised almost $9,000, and is one of the top teams! Take care, LiveStrong. Barb
  9. Leda Says:
    God you two are beautiful!
  10. Tracy Ismert Says:
    Dear Dan and Sandy, That picture of Sandy on the beach reminds me of a Walt Whitman Poem titled ” I hear American singing” , because if there is one lady who is singing her song it is Sandy Beardsley in all her glory on the beach. Thank you Sandy for singing for us all. Tracy ( Burlingame CA0 I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear; Those of mechanics–each one singing his, as it should be, blithe and strong; The carpenter singing his, as he measures his plank or beam, The mason singing his, as he makes ready for work, or leaves off work; The boatman singing what belongs to him in his boat–the deckhand singing on the steamboat deck; The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench–the hatter singing as he stands; The wood-cutter’s song–the ploughboy’s, on his way in the morning, or at the noon intermission, or at sundown; The delicious singing of the mother–or of the young wife at work–or of the girl sewing or washing–Each singing what belongs to her, and to none else; The day what belongs to the day–At night, the party of young fellows, robust, friendly, Singing, with open mouths, their strong melodious songs.
  11. Robert Bowman Says:
    Sandy, So awesome to see you coming out of the ocean with a great spirit. Reading through this journey, though difficult to write, makes one feel that we are somewhat there with you and in as much as the spirit allows us, feel the pain you are all going through. Be uplifted Dan and Sandy and know that what you are doing and going through together is affecting others in a positive way. My prayers and thoughts are with you evermore…Robert
  12. Aunt Shari Says:
    Dear Sandy I enjoyed seeing you at the beatiful ocean. I am keeping my Lance face on,if you can so can I. Our prayers are for you both, we love you.
  13. aunt janie and uncle shane Says:
    Sandy and Dan - it’s a beautiful love story you are sharing. you are God’s gift to each other. keep holding tight (live strong as the Lance says! And, pleasant dreams always. we pray for you.
  14. Anne and Andre Nowacki Says:
    Dearest Sandy and Dan, The world is so much better a place, with you two in it. You have contributed so much to the wellbeing of all of us in this area, in lasting ways, with your caring and generous efforts. Today we saw a mother pulling her small child in a little “tent-trailer” behind her bike. And I felt a wave of gratitude that it is still safe enough on Icicle Road for her to be able to do that. You two are a team of goodness and meaningful, generous actions. And that radiant smile of Sandy’s and soulful, thoughtful smile of Dan’s are lasting gifts to all who have been fortunate enough to see them. We thank you. And all those children you helped, Sandy, must feel the same gratitude and love toward you as they grow up and remember your smiling, giving spirit. Anne
    Sandy and Dan. You are an inspiration to all of us. Both of you have each other and that in itself is a gift. Keep up your smiles both of you. We are praying for you to make this journey on your own terms and we know you will be in control. Our hearts go out to you. Marshall & Betty
  16. Janet Says:
    Sandy and Dan, What can I say you continue to inspire us all.You two are amazing in your ability to share and touch people.I know I am suppose to wear my Lance face but sometimes it is very hard.Reading your blog is my daily cry.Sometimes they are tears of amazament, tears of sorrow,tears of happiness,tears of hope andjust plain old tears.Sandy every time I go out in my yard and hear all the birds singing I think of you and your love of nature.I continue to pray for you and I want to thank you and Dan for sharing your scared and personal journey with us all .We are much better because of it.All my love forever,Janet
  17. alex m and jo r Says:
    Sandy, Dan, and Cam, you are all so uniquely special and are such beautiful gifts to each of us. Thank you! Lots and lots of love.
  18. Susie Archuleta Says:
    Sandy and Dan, Thinking of you both tonight and feeling blessed for all that you have taught us. Because of you, Dan and Sandy We will “Livestrong” Thank you! Love and Prayers, Susie
  19. Leda Says:
    Sitting at the seaside and thinking of you two and loving it.
  20. Bruce and Karen Says:
    Sandy and Dan, Our loving thoughs are with you each day. Bruce, Karen, Alder, and Phoebe
  21. HAM Says:
    Wow, being at your house today Sandy and Dan, was awe inspiring - the connections with Dr. Miller Batson and his RV to take you to Portland; what an amazing heart warming story. As you were preparing to leave Saturday morning for Sunday’s LiveStrong Ride, your wonderful family and friends surrounding you, coworkers and Chruch helpers stopping in with gas money, your TEAM SANDY checking in, everyone helping this event to happen. A truly loving community here. We hope you can get some sleep (all of you). With love and blessings from the Murph’s.
  22. Jessica Caden Says:
    Sandy & Dan, I have been following your journey and am moved to tears by your love for each other, your beauty, and your strength. The two of you have taught me what life and love truly mean. You are an inspiration and I wish I knew you. I am sending you all my love and prayers for the LiveStrong Ride. Thank you so much for sharing your story, you have changed my whole perspective on life. I will be thinking of you as I hike in Banff on Sunday & sending you good thoughts.
  23. Kellee Bradley Says:
    Dear Dan and Sandy, Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I found a quote the other day that I’d like to share….oh, and I’ll be in Leavenworth on Saturday for the music festival. I’ll come by..and hopefully you’ll be feeling like having a visitor. This is a Sufi aphorism “When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found.” Love you both, Kellee
  24. Ruby Capi Says:
    Dear, Ms.Beardsley, I want to tell you how much you mean to me and how much Irespect you. I want you to know that I appreciate you I appreciate all the things that you have done you have for me. You are one of the very few teachers that have really taught me something that I will want to do. To wright poetry. If it was’nt for you I would’nt have discoverd how much I love poetry. (especailly when the poems are about you.) You really mean alot to me an with all my heart I hope that these words will make you feel better and that they will make you happy because there is nothing better then seeing your buetiful charming smile. Thankyou for the poem book and the ether books that you gave me I love them.please remember that You are a very special to me and that you are a very special/wonderful person. Thankyou for being so nice and for being so sweet to me. I really enjoyed all the times that I was with you. You always had and you always will make me feel happy. I especially enjoyed all the times I ate lunch with you. I want you to know that I will always read and wright poems especially poems about you. I wil wright some and read some at the talent Show next year. These words were all written from my hart and with all my love. My thoughts and prayers are with you. With all my love, Ruby.
  25. Lois Davies Says:
    Dan and Sandy, The ocean picture is the best! The power of the salt water, sand, and sun are soul healing. You are in my heart! Lois
  26. Anne and Andre Nowacki Says:
    Sandy and Dan, I can’t begin to say how glad I am that you had such fulfilling and full-of-wonder experiences at the Live Strong gathering. We are thinking of you and wishing you both restful restoration. I hope Sandy will hear soon the words of Rubi Capi, written above, who speaks symbolically and with full heart for what all of us feel. Gratitude for all you are and all you have done. With love and uncontainable tears, Anne and Andre
  27. Nick Brasher Says:
    Your memoir of your wife was moving. I was diagnosed with GBM IV last Spring, and it’s stories like these that confirm that goodness remains in the world. Like you, I am fortunate to have experienced true, impenetrable love. I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times, but I want to extend my my heartfelt appreciation for chronicling your experiences. It brought tears to my eyes.

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