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Posted by: Dan @ 7:45 pm
A long time ago, I went through life feeling this sense of, for lack of a better word, protection. I always felt that I was going to be spared any harm or misfortune. And my family and friends would be alright too — all of us protected from harm or bad luck. Wishful thinking perhaps or youthful optimism, but it always seemed more real than that to me.
Over time, that sense of protection slowly eroded away, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was still there. With the deaths of family members and friends, accidents and illness, and everything else that happens to all of us in this life, I had to give up that sense of protection and face the vulnerability of our existence. The final blows to that protection have of course happened in the past few years — with Sandy’s diagnosis… the death of my friend Bob… when I got hit by a truck while riding my bike… Sandy’s death…
And I was reminded of our vulnerability a few days ago when I found out that Nan, a friend on this blog whose young son has a brain tumor — as if that wasn’t enough — her father was in a vehicle accident and is seriously injured. I wrote to her and said… “life and death and everything in between just keeps happening despite our wishes that it stop or at least slow down so we can deal with… our wives…our sons.. Our lives are so unbelievably fragile… one wrong turn… every day and every moment are truly gifts…”
Those words I wrote were all too true…
Last night I found out that a friend of mine died in a car accident on an icy mountain road near here yesterday morning. I had seen her just a few days ago, full of her usual joy and sweetness, loving life. Her companion who was driving was seriously injured.
We are all so fragile. The length of our lives is unknown and not guaranteed. There is no protection. We must hold on to this moment, the gift that we are breathing and alive… right now. And live life.
Prayers and peace for Jennifer’s family.
Prayers and healing for Karl.
Good night,
Dan
November 5th, 2006 at 8:42 pm Dan—How very true your words are. When I left Kansas a month ago after being with your sister following her major surgery, she was all smiles and full of her usual vitality. Now complications have arisen and she’ll undergo more trauma. I’ll be there again for her and full of expectations that all will be well. In the meantime we will all live with hope and joy and gratitude for each moment. Love, Mom
November 6th, 2006 at 2:04 pm I had Mrs. Beardsley has a teacher in 1st, 2nd and,3rd grade. She was always inspirering my class too do well and succed. If it was in art, p.e or even history she made it all fun for the the class. She couldnt have been a better teacher or freind.
November 7th, 2006 at 6:15 pm Dan, my deepest sympathy for this latest round of sadness. Wally and I, hold you and the families who are going through this in our hearts and prayers. We thank you for writing and reminding us to rejoice in the everyday moments shared with those we love. Thinking of you… Love Susie
November 7th, 2006 at 9:15 pm How fragile we are, indeed. Let us give thanks for every breath, every smile, every laugh, every hug, for our minds, for our bodies, for our loved ones and ourselves (and many, many other blessings). And, ultimately, for the hope (for some) and conviction (for others) that these blessings will be with us all, in some manner, for all eternity. Dan, we’re so sorry for Karl and for Jennifer. May their families both find strength and peace. May Karl make a full recovery. Love, Nan & family xxoo
November 8th, 2006 at 7:40 am Hey Brother Dan, Please know that I love you very much. I appreciate your attitude of gratitude for each moment we are given on this earth. You’ve inspired me to write some favorite thoughts: The mountains are greater because they are surrounded by valleys. The light is greater for those who have experience great darkness. Though a storm may blow the house down, build it anyway. Though our dreams may be shattered, dream anyway. Though our hearts may be broken, love anyway. Strive to be happy.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:43 pm Hi Dan Just checking in to say Hi and see how you are doing. My brothers 2nd anniversay was 9/21/06. I was in England and it felt so good to go and visit him. He is next to my father. It is so surreal and sad to go there with my mother. All of “her men” now gone. I have learnt that to love someone is ultimatly so painful. I think our pain reminds us of how much we loved our loved ones. Where ever Sandy is Dan, she is proud of you. Much love Tracy ( Burlingame, National Brain Tumor Walk SF )
November 8th, 2006 at 11:00 pm Hi Dan I linked to Sandy’s website from my website some time ago. I can’t remember when but I probably would have e-mailed you or Sandy to first obtain permission. I checked the link just now and was saddened to read that Sandy had recently passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences. My wife Marg died from a GBM some five years ago and I often imagine all these good people communicating with each other and looking after those of us who have been left behind. I came across her radiation oncologist at the airport recently and I recalled her saying during an appointment six years ago: “It seems that only the very best people get brain tumours”. How true! I read in the diary where the month of October will always have a special significance for you - for what it is worth the organisation I chair (the International Brain Tumour Alliance www.theibta.org ) has chosen the dates 21-27 October 2007 for the inaugural International Brain Tumo(u)r Awareness Week. We hope that people around the world will succeed in creating greater awareness about this terrible disease. Look after yourself. Prayers and best wishes. Denis Strangman Canberra Australia
November 9th, 2006 at 9:33 am Dear Dan, Life is fragile, yes, and it is that fragility that makes it so precious. It’s like the difference between fake flowers that always look the same and real living flowers that have their cycle, their budding and blooming and seeding and withering. I bet we’d both take real flowers over fake anytime, even with the knowledge that their earthly beauty is not forever. Their spirit beauty is eternal. I’m glad you have been able to hike to those special places and feel their glory soaking into your heart. We will keep your friends in our prayers, too, with their special beauty. God bless you with beauty every day. Love, Joe and Merry P.S. I hope you found the Orondo School book at your front door where we left it a while back.
November 9th, 2006 at 5:56 pm Hi Dan, Life is a miracle that many of us forget to celebrate each and every day. The deeper the love and joy,the harder and deeper the pain is to go through. No one can share the same ups or downs, but we can acknowledge the shared journey that we all will deal with these inevitable things in our own journeys. I am grateful for your continued sharing and wisdom through these hard times. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your friends Jennifer and Karl.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:56 pm Hi Danno - So sorry to hear about your friend(s. Sometimes these things don’t stop and like you say, sometimes don’t even slow down for you to help deal with them. We continue to think of you daily and hope you are well. We cherish you as our friend. YOU are a special moment to us. Love, D2