Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor
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06/13/07
“Somewhere…”
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 10:26 pm

I’ve been going through an especially tough time lately, physically and emotionally… struggling with the pain and loss, missing Sandy more intensely as time passes by… but managing most days to still find something to keep me going, to see the beauty in this world. Usually it’s a small thing that makes me feel Sandy is still with me, makes me smile a little, keep breathing, and get through the day… a wildflower blooming in the garden, a raven on a branch nearby, a robin on the bench in the quiet dusk… the calming sound and flow of the river at the end of our road where I walk the dogs every morning and evening… and what happened today reminded me again that her spirit lives on in many ways, and in many more people…

Today was a very special, moving, emotional, tearful and life-affirming day… I drove the very familiar road north along the Columbia River to the school where Sandy taught. It was the last day assembly and talent show. A year ago Sandy, her parents, our son Cameron and myself were here for the last two days of the school year at Orondo… Sandy’s last days at the school. She died a month and a half later. But her spirit lives on….

At the assembly today, two students gave a special tribute to her. With a photo of Sandy projected on a large screen, Samantha sang a beautiful version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and then Ruby read about her memories of “Ms Beardsley”… especially her wonderful smile, that still makes Ruby smile when she thinks of her. Through my tears I was powerfully reminded about how many kids, and fellow teachers, loved her. And how many lives she touched in such a positive and inspiring way. To see how she has influenced these children, and continues to — their memory of her is still very strong — was overwhelming. I told Samantha and Ruby that Sandy had always loved and been very proud of them — and was especially proud of them today.

After the program, and many hugs later, I went outside to get some fresh air and let the wave of emotion roll so I could go back in and see some of the staff and kids I hadn’t had a chance to. But as I was walking around outside, two little girls — Sandy’s students that I recognized — came up and hugged me. One of them said tearfully, “I miss her so much…” 

That was a wave I couldn’t stand up to. All I could say, as I started to lose it, was “Don’t worry, as long as you remember her, she’s still with you…” 

Somewhere… over the rainbow…

Good night,
Dan

5 Responses to ““Somewhere…””

  1. Robin O'Hearn Says:
    Dan, it was VERY good to see you there yesterday. People always ask about you and I don’t know what to tell them, as we need more contact with you these days. I was so happy to get Sandy’s drum and the kids asked me about it. It will be in a prominent spot next year in my classroom. There were more than a few times in my classes when we’d take some time to remember Ms Beardsley. I’ll look for you on the bike (both of them) and as Sandy would probably say, “you be careful!” We do want to do the Portland ride with Friends of Sandy and my cousin’s team. Hope to see you again LONG before then.
  2. Caryn O'Connor Says:
    Hi Dan. I’m so glad to hear that you’re still going to Sandy’s school for their special events. Sandy is living through those beautiful children. It is so obvious just from your writing that Sandy affected them very deeply. I love you and miss you terribly. Hopefully I’ll see you before the Challenge! P.S. Did you get my email? I sent it to the Sandy@ address. I need your artwork & expertise, and maybe we can get some more donations coming in…we’re kind of in a slump lately. Where are our other teammates that haven’t signed up yet. Come on everybody!! We need you! Sandy needs you! Lance needs you! Let’s go!! Love, your sis!
  3. Ruby Capi Says:
    Mr.O’Connor,I would like to thankyou for coming to the End Of The Year Assembly and for all of the nice things you said about Samantha and I. What I read about Ms.Beardsley came from the heart and I am sure that Samantha’s song came from the heart as well. We both Loved Ms.Beardsley and we still love her VERY much!!! We will both ( Samantha and I ) make sure that every student in Orondo School knows just what kind of a person Ms.Beardsley was. Ms.Beardsley’s spirit will always live on!!! Like I said at the Assembly, Her beautiful smile will always be remembered as the most beautiful,sincere,warm,loving,caring smile in Orondo History!!!!! Whenever I hear the word strong I think of Ms.Beardsley because Ms.Beardsley was a very VERY strong woman and is a strong influence to everyone who has any kind of problems. Ms.Beardsley’s smile was like the sun, it would always make everything shine!!
  4. Kendall Says:
    Dear Mr.O’Connor, I’m Kendall, one of Ruby and Sam’s Friends. I know i never met Sandy but i know how special she was to every one and i also no for a fact is that she will be remembered for ever and ever and will never be forgoten. And i’m sure ruby will do something every year as a tribute and if she does next year i will help her with it and learn more about her and her *SPARKLING* aditute as i’ve heard she had/has. I wish i would have been able to meet Mrs. Beardsley. Best Wishes, Kendall
  5. Kendall Says:
    I also forgot i know how hard it is to loose someone over brain cancer i lost my grandmother who i loved so very much and i know she wasn’t as close as you were to Mrs. Beardsley.

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