Sandy Beardsley
Living with a Brain Tumor
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05/06/06
Hope, Faith, Courage, Love… and Security
Filed under: General
Posted by: Dan @ 9:40 pm

What an amazing day in the life…

Sandy and I got up at 5am today and headed up the road to San Francisco around 6 to get to the “Angel Adventure” fund-raising walk for the National Brain Tumor Foundation. We were also going to reunite with Sandy’s “Brain Tumor Buddy” (her hospital roommate from October). The freeway and city streets that time of morning were delightfully deserted - a strange experience around here as the traffic is heavy all the time. So we made good time and got to the event site in Golden Gate Park about an hour early. The weather was cloudy and very cold and windy at the park - it’s close to the ocean and we found out later it’s like this a lot - quite a contrast to the sun and warmth of Palo Alto just 30 miles down the road. As we sat in the car, a fancy Mercedes pulled up across the road and a large, 6′6″ tall, ex-football player looking black guy got out, wearing a jacket, shirt and hat emblazoned with “Security”. I guess they need guys like him for big events in the big city. We joked - we sure wouldn’t mess with that guy.

Sandy was feeling intensely emotional about being here and also about seeing her friend Mary again. To quote her through the tears… “I’m a wreck… I’m not sure I can do this…”  I tried my best to comfort her, but the tears kept coming. We signed up at the registration desk, picked up our t-shirts with a “Hope, Faith, Courage, Love” design, and sat down to wait for Mary. Sandy huddled in a blanket as it was quite cold, as I held her and watched the large crew of volunteers set up the tents, and the crowd of participants filtered in to the large grass field. I went over to the food tent and got us some coffee to help warm us up. Sandy was still cold and not feeling very strong, still crying. Seeing all the people showing up with t-shirts and posters printed with photos of loved ones who had died of brain tumors only deepened her sorrow… and made my heartache profoundly more real.

I left her after awhile to go look for Mary in the crowd. I was walking across the large meadow, my small backpack loaded with clothing, camera and our gnome friend… and saw the security guy we had seen earlier coming toward me, making a deliberate angle to intersect where I was heading. I didn’t think anything of it until he got right up next me and blocked my way with his imposing frame. He looked down at me from very close and said in a gentle but firm voice, “Excuse me sir, but I was hoping you could do me a favor…”
“Sure, what can I do?” I asked.
“Well, I’d like to ask you to leave this area… you see, these folks have paid a lot of money to be here and have been through a lot… and I understand you’ve been hanging around and eating the food. You’ll have to leave now…”
I was stunned, of course, and almost speechless. But I smiled, almost laughing and said, “I’m part of this event… my wife is having brain tumor surgery in a week… she’s right over there…” I pointed across the field.
“Oh God! I’m so sorry!” he said, clasping my shoulders. “I was told there was a guy with a backpack who didn’t belong here, hanging out and eating a lot of food…”
“Hey, no worries,” I said. “That’s OK…”
“I’m so sorry…” he repeated again and again. “Take care of yourself now…” he said as he walked away.
I laughed all the way back to where Sandy was sitting. She was still in tears, as I told her what had just happened. She burst into laughter, not even believing me. “It’s true!” I said. “You think I could make that up?!”  She laughed and laughed through her tears at the idea that her husband looked like a homeless guy. I was quite happy myself to see her laughing after a very rough morning. This moment was the turning point of the day for Sandy.

After awhile we connected with Mary and her son and his girlfriend. It was an intense and tearful reunion, but seeing her really cheered Sandy up. We sat together and listened to the speakers start the program. I can’t begin to recount the beautiful stories of several brain tumor survivors, or the stories of loved ones telling of their loss of someone close to them.

Then they opened it up for anyone to come up to the microphone and tell their story. Sandy got right up and made her way to the back of the stage area. I watched her talk to one of the hosts, a local TV sports guy, who told some great stories and was introducing people. He then got to the microphone and introduced Sandy to the crowd. Needless to say, my heart was swelling with pride and love for her. There she was, standing in front of at least 2,000 people, telling her story… she was so clear, calm and assured that the crowd was totally quiet with attention. Friends who were at our party last week and listened to Sandy talk to the group about the bad MRI and our impending trip to Stanford — she was exactly the same, but in front of a huge crowd. It was beautiful and inspiring. She first said that she was a 7-year brain tumor survivor and the crowd applauded wildly. Toward the end of her story, she told of her surgery last October, the GBM grade 4 diagnosis and her upcoming 2nd surgery. The crowd somehow got even quieter, listening intently as she talked of still having hope. She mentioned her website and said to everyone, “Just look for the gnome and that’s us!” Yes, the gnome was with us all day… SEE PHOTOS OF THE DAY HERE

SEE PHOTOS OF THE DAY HERE
After a few other people spoke, they started the walk. It was a 5k walk through the park, an immense and beautiful place. Sandy had a photo of our son Cameron and a photo of her support group in her pocket over her heart. She nad Mary were arm-in-arm the entire walk. More than 1,200 people had registered, and counting all the friends and family there must have been well over 2,000 people walking. It was quite a sight… all these people (and one gnome) winding through the big trees. We met some great people along the way - including Tracy from England and her friends. She lost her brother to cancer, and offered us a lot of support.

At the program at the end of the walk they announced that over $500,000 had been raised today! Amazing. All the money goes toward funding brain tumor research, outreach to patients and other programs. The NBTF is a great organization. This was the 12th annual Angel Adventure walk. Our cycling friends Mike and John are also raising money for this group (see link at left). During the walk and afterward, many people came up and thanked Sandy for her speech and wished her well and shared a lot of compassion. People even approached me as I carried the Gnome around, extending their sympathy and understanding to Sandy and I. A few people even wanted to rub the Gnome for good luck.

After the program, we said goodbye to Mary and her son and girlfriend - we’ll see them this next week sometime - and headed back to the car. Sandy said I had to go find that security guy and thank him for helping to turn her mood around. I headed back to the big meadow and  searched through the crowd for him. After awhile I found him. As I walked up to him, he recognized me and laughed, mockingly holding his head in shame. I shook his hand and told him how his attempt to kick me out of the event had made Sandy laugh after a morning of tears. And that got him laughing. I gave him Sandy’s card and he wished us luck.

A day of intense and beautiful humanity… Hope, Faith, Courage, Love… there’s definitely security in that.

Good night,
Dan

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